Caffeinated Entries

la vie commence après le café

Hello again

Oh how I missed writing. It’s been almost half a year since I last touched the blog. I missed everything– expressing my thoughts out. And now I’m going to get back. I’m just so giddy and stoked to share everything that has been going on day by day. Life is good.

Decaffeination

Ever since our little Kobe was born, which is three weeks ago from now, I made it a point to take a break from caffeine so long as I exclusively nurse a baby. During my pregnancy, I cautiously kept the routine of having a cup of coffee because skipping one would get me the worst of the withdrawal phase— and I didn’t want anything to add up to the pains of my imbalanced hormones. Gratefully after giving birth, without any dreaded withdrawal, my palate found its way back to a caffeine free drink (which I used to indulge in as a snack before) in replacement of my usual daily recharge— a cup of chocolate drink! I always loved this mix in cold, especially the one with marshmallows, and I have never imagined it to be my temporary morning starter one day. Sweet little surprises.

How amazing it feels to get through the things you once thought you couldn’t do. Maybe a little push is just what you needed.

Making Progress

Everything imaginable is possible.

Before 2016 has started, I remember seeing a customized calendar across the net which hyped me to organize and such. I was so stoked once I got to print them out and quickly grabbed my tools so I can finally jot down my plans for this year— be it the rewards that I’m saving up for or the steps that one by one I must take to reach my dreams.

And now, as August is just about to end, it’s so relieving to see that I’ve been able to continue ticking all the boxes along the past months. This purposely inspires one to dream big as you achieve more.

We only got 4 months until the year ends, are you also making a progress?

A Blessing

I can listen to your racing heartbeats inside my womb all day, every single day.

Time flies. I still remember when your father and I had just gratefully announced you to our family and friends. Now, being able to hold you in our arms will just be a few weeks, or heck, days ahead.

I hope we get to raise you with love and grace, just like how we patiently wait to see your face. As you grow up, I pray that your faith in God strengthens, and so you’ll learn to trust His ways.

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It’s been a while since the sun showed up with cheer. The bad weather’s almost gone, now it’s time to seize a morning like this.

Updated

Finally tried to add more photos on my blog! My current goal is to publish more gallery posts some time soon. So excited!

Looking Back

The Start: A Year Ago From Now

A blog drafted 24th of April, 2015.

I think never before have I ever looked at someone right in the eye and think at the moment of my future with him. I have been into flings and some serious affairs but this time around, I can say, is the first time that I’ve hoped of settling down with a person. Maybe this is growing up? I remember asking God the last time that I broke down that the next guy that I’d meet would be His best, if He wills. I’ve waited and took my time for I wasn’t ready. My unreadiness had gone to a point that I didn’t believe in love anymore, well, not that high school kind of disbelief, so to speak. I lost faith in loving a special person, and so I got bitter for a long time. I willed to compose myself, to live by myself without needing somebody to cling on. I made time to make myself whole again, tried to get back to the old better version of myself without forgetting everything I learnt in the present. I realized I didn’t have to be hard on myself. Til then I claimed that there would be a guy who would make me believe in love again, that I’d wait, no matter what it takes.

It’s too soon to speak, but I guess he’s the guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with. We have yet a lot to discover in ourselves, with each other, but he’s the guy that I would accept for a lifetime. To me, imperfections make a person all the more worthy to be loved. I like that there’s something to unlike yet adjust to. I’m finally learning to give and take– letting him do his job and also making my turns. I’m learning to compromise. I haven’t fallen yet, but I feel a thump in my heart every time he’s around and even when he’s just in my head.

A Quick Post

I have come to realize, after finishing a glass of milk (my new habit, by the way), that I need to sort out my Categories page. What. messy. blog.

Changes

Your desires aren’t what you really wanted once your path clearly shows you’d end up there. A good mix of should have beens comes up and all your past wishes haunt you in your dreams– waking up badly hoping things could turn the other way around. You think to yourself, you never really wanted to go where you’re headed, no matter how damn decided you were before all else. Well, at least not right now.

It’s ironic how unhappy this post sounds, when I always thought all this was what I wanted. Ces’t la vie. I was young and thought selfishly of myself. I guess this is growing up. Well, it’s true what they say, be careful what you wish for. It’s too early for a new life.

I’m afraid, yes. Dream’s such a big word now that I feel like they’re about to vanish on thin air. And yes, I still put them ahead of me for all the sleepless nights and efforts I invested in them. Started from scratch and wrote and planned again, til I was sure the things I had jotted down were the things I was to go for. Now, am I too selfish for a real and long term commitment?

How amazing it feels to achieve our great dreams along with someone we love. So nice to think to tag them along, and get tagged along with theirs as well. That’s how partnership works to my unfamiliar senses. Is it selfish of me to feel unprepared for interferences? Maybe I’m just overwhelmed with all the new things. And maybe this will definitely not be as bad as I think it would be right now, God-willing.

After all, I have the chance to set my mind and embrace the changes without letting go of my own dreams. Big changes in life doesn’t mean completely forgetting your individuality, does it? Well, that’s pretty convincing and sounds challenging. Committing is really one of those classic things I long accepted I’m not good at, but now is that time to be strong enough for this.