Caffeinated Entries

la vie commence après le café

Destress: Summer at Six

So just before the sun rose earlier, I decided to charge up my old iPod and stream through a ton of music I’ve loaded there long since 2012. It was a cold dark morning when I got inspired to prepare a laidback music upon hearing Pentatonix’s Valentine play first on shuffle. It suddenly gave me the sunset by the beach vibe. Enjoy!

Destress: Gray Morning

Current favourite playlist! I find comfort in this set of chilly acoustic songs. Stream and enjoy. :)

Holes to Fill In

“So, what’s up with you and the guy you just dated last week?” “Listen, I’m now so sure about him… He’s the one!”

I got inspired to write by the Word I’ve heard from the mass last Sunday. It tells about the way you could attract the right person in your life– not the “jerks and jerkettes”. The preaching made me think about where I am right now, and deeply so of my risks and hardships all before this person that I am with now came into my life. I can’t be more grateful God has given me a man to whom my flaws and strengths would complement with. Well, going back to that short conversation up there, these are the typical lines that you would hear from gradeschoolers who swear they are in love (no offense!) to young adults who lock up their worlds to the new found man of their dreams. Looking back, you could even hear yourself saying the same things!

I don’t spare myself from the guilt for I have experienced this scene myself years ago. I was head over heels about some guy, really thought he’s the one I was long dreaming of. Nevermind the flaws, I examined everything about him and didn’t care about how vulnerable I was until after a short while, the truth was handed on a silver platter. The truth is I got cheated on. Well, nothing was official so there’s nothing like cheating. And so the bitterness got its toll on me.

I was angry, so angry, not just about him but mostly about myself for having a hard time moving on. Well, nothing was official so there’s nothing like moving on. (Didn’t I just say that? Oh, I already said that.) I’ve spent days, weeks, and months, trying to squeeze whatever there is to squeeze just for me to get the beauty in what I’ve experienced. You know what they say, there’s always a bright side of the story. Everything was vague until it was almost turning a year, when I could finally feel the enlightenment in me. I felt like I was freed from anger and ready to enjoy my life as it is. I finally felt the urge to embrace my own self and discover things that I have yet to discover in my God-given years, without needing another person to do it for me as I always did. And that was when I knew I was rebuilding myself all those times I thought I was fighting to my own destruction. When I felt all the emotions, mostly pain, the melancholy, asking what was wrong about me. I never knew I was rebuilding myself that time. I used to be so clingy; can’t live without somebody to lean on. Well, if it weren’t for all these, it wouldn’t have lead to filling in the holes I never thought I had. I told myself since then that I don’t need anyone else to complete me, because I already am.

You won’t make your world so small if you knew you can live a life that’s out in the sunshine, a life that’s absolutely better than a boxed one. You can be so sure about devoting your vows to a person but still be willing to seek self growth. Otherwise, risk that little chance you see or drop it all and make yourself whole on your own. Yes, on your own. Until you learn to love yourself, you will then attract a person who will need your love. Somebody just can sense it.

I’m leaving you a question to comprehend as you end this entry, “Are you really whole? Or d’you just need somebody to fill in your past holes?”

One Step Up

It’s been awhile! How I missed couching and typing down my thoughts. I have admittedly skipped 2 Fridays of my blog feature for I am still adjusting from the newest addition to my daily activities– I just got hired to work! I’ve never had any work experience before so I’m limited to an opinion that I’ve never imagined life to be this exciting. It’s a complete different vibe that I get from all the hardships that I’ve gone through in my three years in college. Aside from I get paid for my time and efforts, I never knew work could be double the fun and challenge! I sure found school really exciting but that’s because it was the only place that time for me where I maximized my skills and pushed myself beyond my boundaries.

During the second week of March, I was undergoing a 7-day training to test if I could be included in the real production. And luckily, just this Monday, I am already starting to work at my new job! What I do is edit and retouch photos from the clients abroad for their own companies. It doesn’t sound as challenging as it really is, but I’ll put it this way, each of us, team mates, are given our own share of a hundred photos (but I only get under a hundred for now for I’m just starting) and before the shift ends, we should be done with the revisions if ever the QA (Quality Assurance) sends you back your edited photo/s. And on my first day, all of my edited photos were sent back to me with the note brushed in red on the photo. Imagine? But the fun part is, I don’t get down when I get revisions because it pushes me to be better at what I do. And that’s a nice start! I guess everyone is just encouraged to learn and go along with the whole productions’ skills and speed and just like what the team lead told us while we were training, we will all be learning everyday. Doesn’t feel like working, really, cause the prod floor and of course the prod team feels cool. I get to do a job that I usually do at home (photoshop), I get to listen to my mates’ nice songs, and I get to talk to my other team mates also through Hangouts, and sometimes the Team Chat Box becomes ridiculously funny maybe because of too much work. Lol. I’m looking forward to knowing the production team better (30% girls and 70% guys so imagine how hyper our team is haha) ’cause I seriously think they’re super cool!

To end this post, I want my readers to keep in mind this quotation that I hold onto for long– God has a plan. You know I’ve imagined different jobs before that I thought would be better until God showed me that I am the master of my fate, but He is my Master who tells me what dreams I must fulfill.

Destress: City Sundown

Start off the weekend right! It’s time to shake off the workweek stress. Indulge in an indie rock/synth pop playlist on a spontaneous Friday night roadtrip.

Destress: When I’m With You

It’s been a long day! So, this happens to be my second post for my new feature, and to soothe the night even better, here’s a set of old-fashioned romantic songs I hope you’ll like. These are actually an all time personal favorites, most especially the few songs to the last– don’t know why but they never fail to give me a beautiful vibe inside. This playlist will probably remind you of the way a certain person makes you feel whenever you two are together. Indulge in chill music right here on my blog! Link me to playlist!

Destress: The Way It Was

Today I’ve prepared a playlist of mostly early millennium alternatives (and a bit of modern music of the same genre) to give a relaxing feel especially for you, readers and listeners. Although these are kinda something you listen to when you’re torn between what your heart feels and what your mind believes, I enjoyed this so much the first time I rolled these songs, took me back to the old days, so hope you get the same vibe!

There you go, giving you an hour or more of personally picked music right here on my blog.

Notes to Self (And to Anybody Who Comes In)

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Wall to Wall.”

I’m a big fan of philosophical thoughts, they say. Every night before I sleep, I try to squeeze out some principles or the like from my whole day’s activities, which can be essential for the coming days. No living day is wasted if I think profoundly of even the simplest thing that I’ve done at the moment, at least that’s what I believe in. I think, what’s the best way to remind me of these self-quoted essentials? Post it on my wall! (Well, literally.)

I used to share a room with my elder sister and now I finally have my own room in our house. It’s actually my aunt’s but since she already stays in her own house, I was granted the permission to stay here. That came out a bit serious, but it’s just a small deal lol. I remember when I was a little kid (well, I still am) I wanted to post artworks on the walls of our room but I couldn’t cause I had terrible hands. But as years of extensive practicing passed, I figured I could already create half decent works, and so I tried painting, sketching, drawing, all stuff like that. Still ain’t a pro, though. And just last year when I got plenty of time to come back to being artsy, I began to express my own philosophies into artworks. My goal is to remind myself (and other family members who come in) every waking day to be a better person than I was yesterday. Hanging these words on the walls so I have no excuse to disregard them. They’re like a proof that you were, let’s say, as kind and as motivated as this yesterday, and so the tendency is you strive to be better. I’ve learned that most of the time, all we need is a little reminder to ourselves. And you know what? They’re really moving.

Changed But Didn’t Change

So today I have finally accomplished two daily tasks coming from Blogging 101! First was to change my title and tagline, and the other one was to follow some new blogs and topics. I’ve been here for quite some time only to realize I could have given my title and tagline more thinking! I used to think I was doing enough, until I, along with my classmates were given this second task. I was thoroughly reflecting on my real purpose of blogging last night. And gratefully, I’ve become even more enlightened. Oh, the joy in learning.

Sometimes, in terms of lifestyle, making huge changes doesn’t necessarily mean changing your destination. It only means your purpose has become clearer and you realize that you could do better, thus you make the journey even more worthwhile.

What Am I Here For?

“What is the purpose of this blog?” is the very question I’ve been asking myself every time I’m halfway finishing a post. In my four years of being in the world of blogging, I have admittedly faced circumstances which challenged my way of writing many times. I stopped and went on and stopped again for I found myself talking about only the melancholic experiences, things an early teenager’s world would typically revolve on. I took a year without blogging for college and personal purposes, and when I went back just last year, I realized it was all refreshingly worth it. I felt like I was able to start anew. I told myself that I wanted to have a better lifestyle, that I wanted to talk about the beautiful things this time, and so I did.

This blog is basically a public journal of my crunched thoughts. I post on my own terms, sharing my experiences, big or small, along with the knowledge and lesson that I can squeeze in it. I like to think deeply of the things that are being handled to me by God, because I believe that every event, every person or thing, is a puzzle piece which makes up the whole “me”, and whatever happens will make a perfect sense in the end. Maybe blogging is just another way of reminding me of my life’s principles and also a compilation of personal credos. I can acknowledge the fact that I’m a fan of life sayings and someday I dream of being known for my own philosophies. More so, I like how I figure things out with the help of writing. Say a certain thought has been bugging me all day, once I sit at that table and write, I literally spend the next few hours thinking and so I end up solving my deal. It has always given me comfort from the very start. It’s probably my way of detoxifying from negative thoughts. I feel a big pat on my back whenever I’m over expressing my thoughts on a blank screen be it a painful or a joyful one. If for once, I’m not at ease sharing my thoughts out to a person, then this blogging site will always be here for me. I believe that it feels much better and safer to open up to a stranger, and that’s just one of many things that I hope my readers can get from me, too.

I want to reach out to and interact with people of my age and even the elders so I can learn from them, too. In this world we must give and take and as much as possible pass on every knowledge and idea. No matter how far you’ve gone in life, I believe each one of us have yet a lot to learn.

This is an introductory post as a response to my first assignment in Blogging 101. I aim to work on my writing dilemmas as I meet new friends here!